I would like a nextcloud talk/spreed in a docker container. So that I can talk to family/friends. Some tips
I don’t understand the question. Nextcloud is available as a Docker container and the Talk app can also be installed.
want to use the talk app as whatsapp. but don’t want to use the rest. How can I best deal with that?
This is not possible. A Nextcloud installation is a requirement for Nextcloud talk.
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Okay, I’ll put the question differently.
What apps does talk need. does talk need a db for it to work.
In the beginning you can set the quota of each user to 0 B. 
Also there are some sharing configurations.
Maybe you can deactivate some not needed apps.
But I don’t know if you can completely disable the app Nextcloud Files. Use a test server.
But with a quota 0 B the app Nextcloud Files is useless.
If you’re looking for a selfhosted version of WhatsApp it’s maybe worth to have a look at XMPP. I use https://prosody.im/ as a server and https://conversations.im/ on the Android clients. If you are looking for someting a little bit more turn-key which is based on the two, you could have look https://snikket.org/. They provide a docker container and a WebUI for managing accounts.
@bb77
And what about Matrix?
- Matrix protocol: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrix_(protocol)
- Clients: https://matrix.org/clients/
- Server: https://matrix.org/docs/guides/installing-synapse
- End-to-End
I have never really dealt with it. But yes that would certainly be a valid alternative depending on OPs requirements. Although I see Matrix and Nextcloud Talk more as a competitor to web based group chat solutions like Slack or Mattermost. WhatsApp is conceptually and technically closer to XMPP, on which it is originally based. And with Conversations, you have a really good native Android client that now even can do video calls if you use an external TURN/STUN server.
Thanks for the tip.
do you know if nextcloud talk needs a database
Yes. It uses the Nextcloud database e.g. for users, …
Read Database configuration.
But maybe you can use SQLite (only a file).
Sqlite, however, is only recommended for a few users.
I think with Nextcloud Talk you have completely different problems like STUN and TURN.
Has anyone managed to get turn server for docker nextcloud